Well shit where do I start with this, so much has happened in the past 6 months that's changed me and my life. Hitting depression, losing friends, gaining new friends, threatened to be bashed, going from never trying drugs to diving right in, kicked out of home, be australian, worked on a winery farm, lose the will to make games, Struggle to eat and sleep, struggle to make enough money for rent and bills, do some soul searching and recreate myself as a better person.....
I've been making flash games for 5 years now which is just a really strange shock. I still feel like that kid mucking around with Flash 6 back in high school. Then all of a sudden your struggling to meet rent by coming up with an idea and creating it. I hit a dead end wall from personal stuff and ended up on this 6 month journey to reinspire me to keep on going forward and make shit.
I couldn't sit down and make anything, I had to go out and face a lot of stuff. Did some general hard aussie work on a winery farm. Pulling nets over the tractors down an entire length of winery fields makes you wish you were back on the comp making games again, and I needed that. I even went out fishing and just general outdoor stuff I avoided and just lived.
When I asked for donations for rent I was shocked at the generosity of people I'd never met just because they liked to help out a fellow Ng'er, developer, friend or just someone making shit they like. When I look back at everything I've ever done, this stuff stands out the most because it's something I made that someone can still play even years down the track, doesn't matter how small the song, game, movie or writing may be. Any idea can grow into something huge to make you money.
I don't condone taking drugs to anyone, because it's a personal thing for each person to figure out. However, I like to think of myself as a nerdy scientist on the front line. How can I make a game about taking acid if I've never done it? well I can, but wheres the fun in that ;)
But yeah shit, this is a article straight from the heart, when I finally have internet back in my room after a tiring tiring journey that hasn't even started yet. It's got swearing cause that's the way I am, and I've learnt to be proud of who you are and stand up for it. I got shit for being a nerd but I managed to turn it into something that is a positive now.
I needa say a thanks too....
Tom Fulp - Obviously you know why, but when your a kid on NG lots and your dream was to get a game frontpaged and that finally happens and you realise you CAN do it...what then? you now have to come up with new dreams and aim higher. I thank Tom for always frontpaging some new kids idea and always supporting my games with frontpages. Thanks!
Dan from ArmourGames - He's been the best sponsor by far over the 5 years, he replies back quickly and friendly. He's been very flexible with me when we needa change things that I've stuffed up and I thank him hugely for that, without him it wouldnt have been possible.
Fans - You guys. I'd like to thank all of you, even if you're a person that contributes one single view to a game, you still help just by enjoying the game, leaving a review, sending me emails. Just all that support.
In summary, Just go for whatever you wanna do. Don't listen to the negative people that put you down and say you need to resign to a shit job like them. Work at it and be patient and original.
I mean shit look at charlie sheen go! what a fucking animal!